How do I pronounce TWOOBS?
Ahhh the age-old question. Like knife, gnome and autumn, we decided to totally screw with you and chuck an unnecessary extra letter in there. It’s pronounced TOOBS, but everything’s better in twos, so we added the W. Now that you’re in on it, feel free to point and giggle when your friends mispronounce.
Can I buy your super cool life changing shoes in stores?
Dude, it’s 2019. This is a store. But instead of driving there, finding a parking space, stopping on the way to get froyo blah blah blah you just click some buttons, and voila! The shoes arrive at your doorstep. So yes, you can buy them in a store, but only this amazing online one.
How much does shipping cost?
Shipping costs are the worst, and we’d totally rather be sending you your TWOOBS by owl post… but until we can train the owls to stop keeping the shoes for themselves (typical), we ship to you for a $15 flat fee, and you can buy as many pairs as you want for that price. If you spend over $120, then we'll shout you free shipping. We're cool like that.
Does TWOOBS deliver everywhere in the world?
If you have a mailbox, we’re pretty confident we’ll be able to get them to you. Unless you’re on some remote island in the middle of the ocean with nothing but a monkey for a best friend and your mailbox is carved out of coconuts… in which case, can we come?
Can I track my order?
Can Justin Bieber speak Spanish? Unfortunately not. But if you're looking for a shipping update, feel free to contact us.
How long after I place my order will my TWOOBS arrive?
The perfect amount of time for a Hawaii vacation, about 2 - 3 weeks.
What’s your favourite emoji?
The poo, duh. Isn’t it everyone’s?
Do you offer a discount on big orders?
Use the code GLENCOCO at checkout and you'll get 10% off any order of four or more items. Four for you girl, you go girl.
What about if I type in GRETCHENWIENERS?
Then you get none, bye.
I’m sure I’ll totally love TWOOBS even more in person, but what happens if I need to return?
If you’re looking to hang with a different pair of besties or you just ain’t feeling the friendship, don’t worry, our girls aren’t easily offended. Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org within one month of purchase and we’ll be able to help you out. Just a heads up, our shipping costs aren't refundable, and we don't accept returns on discounted items, but here's a cat flying on a doughnut to ease the pain.
Were any animals harmed in the making of TWOOBS?
Other than our puppies who may have suffered from being overly cuddled while we perfected the art of sandal creation, absolutely not. All our shoes are made with vegan-friendly materials.
How can I keep my TWOOBS in the best condition?
Use them as Christmas ornaments instead of shoes. But if you’re sold on this whole wearing-them-on-your-feet idea, we recommend applying Protecty Stuff before their big debut. This will keep the material from getting stained so you can just give them a bit of a wipe down every so often when they get dirty. You can also stuff socks or swimwear in them when you’re travelling to help them keep their shape.
When is it not appropriate to wear TWOOBS?
TWOOBS are always appropriate! To the beach, going shopping, hanging at parties, eating donuts in your underwear… Unless you get invited to have tea with the Queen, then you should probably find something that more says ‘Hey Liz, let’s get a selfie?’ On second thought, TWOOBS are the right choice there too.
Do you have a size chart?
Funny you should ask, here's one we prepared earlier...
If you have any questions we haven’t covered here, have a hilarious meme you need to share with someone or just need a little life advice, feel free to head to our contact page so you can hit us up.